Respect is often noted as key for a healthy and successful relationship. When one person in a relationship constantly feels like he or she is disrespected, it can lead to resentment that can be hard to bounce back from. Respect should be a two-way street.
In a healthy relationship that lasts, each partner needs to feel like his or her opinions matter, his or her thoughts are heard and his or her feelings are important. When evaluating your own relationship, consider the following signs that your partner does not respect you.
Your partner tells you what’s “wrong” with you: No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and quirks and habits that might seem annoying to others. Having someone else constantly point out what they deem to be your flaws can be extremely harsh, especially when it’s someone who’s supposed to care about you. This is far from constructive criticism. If your partner is constantly listing your habits and character traits that happen to annoy him or her and he or she tells you what you need to work on or “fix” about yourself, it’s a sign that your partner doesn’t truly respect you.
Your partner doesn’t listen to you: Listening is one of the most basic signs of respect. Each person in a relationship should be able to share their opinion while the other listens. If your partner is constantly interrupting, talking over you, or flat-out ignoring you, it’s a sign that your partner doesn’t respect you enough to care about your opinion. Good communication is essential for a successful relationship.
You always end up doing things your partner’s way: Compromise is usually a part of any relationship. You might go see the movie your partner picked out even if you really don’t care to see it and then grab dinner after at your favorite restaurant. If you find yourself constantly doing things your partner’s way because he or she insists on it, it’s a sign that your partner doesn’t respect your wants or needs, and is more concerned about getting what he or she wants than making you happy.
Your partner talks negatively about your friends and family: In-laws are often difficult to love, but even if your partner doesn’t love them, your partner can still treat them with respect. If your partner is constantly putting down your family, or even your friends, it can cause a rift between the two of you, because you’ll most likely feel the need to defend them. Your partner should respect you enough to be kind or simply civil to your friends and family for your sake, and leave them out of your arguments.
Your partner is usually unkind: If your partner is intentionally hurting you or your feelings, he or she doesn’t respect you. Intentional name-calling, angry and hurtful words, threatening language or even a judgmental or accusing tone are all signs of disrespect. A healthy relationship should allow each person to address the issue when something is wrong, with the ability to talk about it calmly instead of it escalating into a heated and hurtful argument. Words often do more damage than we realize. Someone who is willing to intentionally hurt you over and over again (even if they apologize afterward) doesn’t respect you.
You’ve caught them in a lie: Being open and honest with your partner is one of the building blocks of any healthy relationship, so dishonesty; even if it’s about the little things; shows a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Whether it’s a simply white lie or something more serious like cheating, lying to a significant other says that feel that you have the right to know the truth.
He give you the silent treatment: Inevitably, all couples are going to disagree occasionally… but what’s really important is how couples communicate during an argument and the silent treatment is a seriously disrespectful manipulation tactic. The silent treatment functions to keep the receiver in suspense of what will happen, and unsure of what they did wrong.
He hurt your feelings: No one is perfect, and accidentally hurting your partner’s feelings is bound to happen many times throughout the course of your relationship. What’s truly disrespectful, though, is if your partner purposely hurts your feelings; even in the heat of an argument, that’s never OK behavior.
A true sign of disrespect occurs when your partner purposely hurts your feelings. There’s really no excuse for hurting someone you supposedly care about.
He ignore your boundaries: Healthy relationships are all about establishing and respecting one another’s boundaries, and a partner who repeatedly ignores or tramples all over your boundaries; whether it’s in the bedroom or outside it; clearly doesn’t respect you enough.
Behaviors that reflect a lack of boundaries, such as invading personal space, are inherently disrespectful. For example, if you have to repeatedly remind your partner that you hate tickling, and they continue to do it, that’s a sign that they have zero respect for your boundaries which is a serious red flag.