One of the biggest and most common questions someone in a relationship asks themselves is if they are with the right person. While there are some signs that can help you figure that out, another question you should be asking yourself is if you’re getting what you deserve out of your relationship. It can be hard to let go when that person is the only thing you’ve known for a long time. But it’s important to know your worth and know when someone else isn’t seeing it. These are 12 signs that you might be settling for less than you deserve.

1. You Make Excuses For Their Actions And End Up Blaming Others.

When they do something that you or others find unsettling, are you making up an excuse for them? Or maybe you’re blaming yourself or others for their actions? If your partner does something that you find less than acceptable, you should be able to talk things out. Covering up for them solves nothing.

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2. They Don’t Have Aspirations.

They don’t really plan for their own future let alone one including you. They are content not having aspirations and don’t understand when you want to go out and do things in the world. In holding themselves back, they end up holding you back and keep you from realizing your potential.

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3. You Feel You Are Never A Priority.

If they have nothing else going on, then maybe they’ll think about you. They’ll come for you when they have the time or feel like it. Not because you are important in their life. The harsh reality is that you are filler for their time.

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4. You Can Rarely Count On Them To Be There For You.

No matter what you’re doing or where you are, if they call or text, you will answer and you are ready to be with them. However, if you need them, you’ll be damned if they actually respond or have the time for you. They might even ask if it can wait. Of course people are busy and someone can’t always be free, but when it counts, is your partner there for you?

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5. You Would Rather Not Talk To Them.

Maybe you’re not waiting for them. Maybe you’re hoping you DON’T hear from them. When you get a text from them, you aren’t excited and you hardly look forward to seeing them. You’re just coasting through your relationship almost waiting for it to fizzle out, but you think this is as good as it’s going to get.

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6. You’re Always Waiting On Them.

You’re waiting for them to call or text or ask to hang out. You’re waiting for them to stop their bad habits or tell you they love you. You’re waiting for them to follow through on their promises or start taking care of you better. You’re waiting for the day you finally find the person you first fell for.

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7. Small Annoyances Turn Into Fights.

The little things that you once could overlook or that didn’t even bother you are suddenly the root of your fights — and you fight often. You are often irritable with them, almost too often. You aren’t sure if you are really angry or if you’re just looking for some form of passion and emotion, so you lash out over anything.

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8. You’re Staying Because You Don’t Want To Be Alone.

When you think about why you stay, you think, “Well…it’s better than being alone.” You are so afraid of what being on your own might hold for you so you stay somewhere you are unhappy and with someone who is no longer the stars in your sky. Being alone is a dirty thought, even though being alone could be the thing that saves you.

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9. You Wish You Were More Like Other Couples.

When you look at other couples, you think to yourself, “I wish I had what they had.” You are waiting for things to get better, but they aren’t and you become more and more envious of what other people have. You might even sometimes wish you were on your own because that would be better than longing for your partner to be an active part of your relationship.

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10. Your Friends Ask If This Relationship Is Really What You Want.

Even your friends are questioning the stability and future of your relationship. They see that you’re unhappy or are worried about the consequences of being with your partner. Maybe when they start asking that question, you start thinking about it yourself and can see an imbalance in your relationship.

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11. You Feel You Have To Change Yourself To Suit Their Needs.

You have lost a true sense of who you are in an attempt to be who they want. You are a shape shifter trying to find the form that your partner might like, but their needs keep changing and so you have to do the same. You try so hard to be the person they want that you stop being the person you need to be.

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12. You Ask Yourself, “Am I Really Happy?”

If you have been coming up with excuses or trying to deny the past 11 signs, there’s only one thing left to do. Ask yourself this question: are you happy?

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