Recently, Virat Kohli shared a disturbing video of a three year old girl being taught numbers by her mother. In the video, the girl can be seen crying as the mother scolds and slaps her. The girl begs the mother, “pyaar se padhao. khan men dare ho raha hai.” However, the mother ignores her pleas and slaps her when she makes a mistake.
The video garnered a lot of anger, and many people commented on the abusive treatment of the young girl. Fellow cricketers Yuvraj Singh and Shikhar Dhawan also shared the post, expressing their dismay at the mother’s treatment.
The girl in the video is the niece of singer and composer duo Toshi and Sharib Sabri. In response to the outrage, Toshi told a leading publication, “the video was made for the family’s WhatsApp group. One can’t judge a mother’s love for the child by seeing a short video. If the children throw tantrums, then should we stop teaching them? It’s not easy to raise children. Virat Kohli and Shikhar Dhawan don’t know about us. We know about our children better. Haya’s nature is such that after being scolded, the next minute she runs off to play. But, because of her nature if we don’t push her, she won’t study. All the crying was for that moment so that her mother doesn’t make her study and lets her play. Haya is just about 3 years old. In every house there are different kinds of children. Ours is a very stubborn child but is extremely dear to us.”
While it is absolutely true that nobody can judge a parent, there are some things that are without doubt, problematic. Firstly, why was such a video made in the first place? We can understand that the mother was frustrated while teaching the child, but how is it that she didn’t have the patience to deal with her stubborn daughter, but had the cognisance to take out her phone and make a video? And then to share it on the family WhatsApp group?
It is true that we can’t judge a mother’s love for her child based on once incident, but we can judge “disciplinarian” behaviour. The core of it is instilling the raw fear that can be seen in this girl. And yes, she may be just fine the next minute, but that is just how many children (and adults) function.
Point is, even if you are bogged down with responsibilities and don’t have a lot of time to spend with your child (like Toshi says), there are other less harmful ways of disciplining her. A three-year-old may not be great at counting, but can understand that unless she spends half an hour studying, she will not be allowed to play. A child’s stubbornness can be countered with a parent’s stubbornness. Instead of using fear as a tool, maybe try reason?
Source : idiva.com